HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTOPHER

Happy Birthday to Christopher

March 23rd

#20

Quarterly Review #2

Welcome guest writer Laura Stiller. She and her husband are sharing with us the concept of a Marriage Quarterly Review. Please also see previous post.

Quarterly Review #2

By Laura Stiller

Danny and I (Laura) first heard about "Quarterly Reviews" during our pre-marital counseling in College Station, Texas. We sat next to each other on a brown leather couch and listened as our pastor told us we needed to have weekly date nights, quarterly get-aways, and yearly anniversary celebrations. Well, I wasn't going to argue with the idea that we needed to go stay in a hotel every three months, and Danny, being ever analytical and introspective, loved the thought of analyzing and refining our marriage.We knew no one else who did "quarterly reviews, there was no blueprint to follow, so, after twelve short weeks of marriage, we set out to make up some stuff on our own. Danny made hotel reservations in Raleigh-Durham, and we decided we'd sip coffee at Barnes & Noble while "analyzing" our marriage. Now, you must know something about us, we cannot walk into Barnes & Noble without each first gathering a huge stack of books to peruse. Well, Danny blew my expectations for our first quarterly review right out of the water when he walked back to the cafe with a HUGE stack of sex books. Great. And I thought we were going to talk about "things we learned since being married" or "things we'd like to improve in our marriage." I guess I had my answer from Danny without any further discussion.Over the next few blogs I want to explain a little bit of why we do quarterly reviews, how we plan for our quarterly reviews (including some practical suggestions you can do yourself), and finally share some of our favorite quarterly reviews to date.

Danny and Laura Stiller were married on August 27, 2005. They fell in love while leading an inner city ministry together after college in Bryan, Texas. Two weeks before their wedding, while Laura was busy finalizing wedding plans and dreaming of marital bliss, Danny decided they needed to move to Greenville, SC for a better job opportunity and to pay off debt FASTER. Somehow, during their first two years of marriage, they moved four times, and squeezed there in the middle was a year in Columbia, SC and the Harris' newlywed Sunday School class. They are now half-way through the four years it takes to get a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and are maintaining their sanity with date nights, quarterly reviews, and lots of hearty "communication." They blog regularly at: thestillers.blogspot.com.

Quarterly Review - #1

Kynn and I are excited to introduce you to our friends, Danny and Laura Stiller. The Stillers were in our newlywed Sunday School Class 2 years ago. They introduced us to the idea of Marriage Quarterly Reviews. We asked them to write about Quarterly Reviews for our newlywed blog. We wanted to post them on our personal blogsite too because we have personally benefited from their advice and want to share it with all of you too. May God bless your marriage.

SHEPHERDING YOUR WIFE THROUGH QUARTERLY REVIEWS

by Danny Stiller

Danny and Laura Stiller were married on August 27, 2005. They fell in love while leading an inner city ministry together after college in Bryan, Texas. Two weeks before their wedding, while Laura was busy finalizing wedding plans and dreaming of marital bliss, Danny decided they needed to move to Greenville, SC for a better job opportunity and to pay off debt FASTER. Somehow, during their first two years of marriage, they moved four times, and squeezed there in the middle was a year in Columbia, SC and the Harris' newlywed Sunday School class. They are now half-way through the four years it takes to get a Masters of Theology from Dallas Theological Seminary, and are maintaining their sanity with date nights, quarterly reviews, and lots of hearty "communication." They blog regularly at: thestillers.blogspot.com.

I want to let you know I don’t have everything figured out when it comes to being a husband. But there is one thing I have resolved to do in my marriage, and that is to be involved. I have and will continue to make mistakes, hurt my wife and screw things up I - I can live with this. But what I cannot live with is not being involved in the life and affairs of my family.
In up-coming posts, my wife will be sharing with you a habit that we have developed that we call Quarterly Reviews. She will tell you how we came up with this idea, and how we go about doing them. Before those are posted, I wanted to start by addressing the husbands that might be reading.
Husbands have a responsibility to shepherd their wives. Since you probably don’t wake up in the morning to go tend sheep, or know anyone who does, I want to share some thoughts I have received from older men about what it means to shepherd your wife.
Shepherding means to cover, protect, counsel, guide, challenge, call out, confront, comfort and encourage. My challenge to you is to take this information about quarterly reviews, make it your own, initiate a plan with your wife, begin to cultivate your marriage, shepherd and engage your wife in the process and start being involved.

FOR THOSE INTERESTED THE BIBLICAL BASIS SHEPHERDING YOUR WIFE:
In 1 Peter 5:1-4, Peter is addressing the elders of churches and instructing them to shepherd the flock that is in their care. In verse four it says, “Then when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that never fades away." The Chief Shepherd is Jesus.
Keeping this picture of Jesus as the Chief Shepherd in mind, I would like to look at Ephesians 5:25-29. Here, husbands are called to love their wives like Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. In verse 28, husbands are commanded to take care of their own bodies, feeding it and taking care of it. Christ shepherds the church, feeding it and taking care of it; we do this for our own bodies; and we are to do this for our wives.
For more ways to shepherd your wife and for further teaching on authentic masculinity go here to download the podcast series “A Man and His Wife” (clicking on it in the right hand column).

Happenings

We've been busy having some fun AND doing a home improvement project. We were given tickets to the USC/Tenn game. Even though we lost, we had a great time. Thanks Rad and Allyson for the tickets.

Time to paint those high traffic areas that cause the walls to just get down right dirty. If you don't know it, trim work takes a long time. We painted two halls this past weekend. They are now nice and CLEAN.

I would love for you to read my sister's blog. She expressed some feelings that I think we may all feel at some time or another. She gave a good word and encouragement. You can read it here. Enjoy and be blessed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

HAPPY 41st BIRTHDAY TO MARLENE CHANDLER

We love you so much.

Snow??????????????????????????

I am wishing, hoping and praying that it would snow. Really don't think it will. Too bad, So Sad!

PS. Christopher is having a blast playing in the snow with all his college friends. He made it back to Anderson just in time to beat the freezing roads. I am so excited for him.